Today’s lesson: don’t put them up on a pedestal!
When you see someone that you think is attractive, as a human your first instinct is to think “wow, this person is amazing. He/she must walk on water. Probably when they poop it smells like flowers and butterflies on a beautiful breezy day.”
We all do it. I do it. You do it. Your friends do it.
And it’s hilarious. It’s nice to dream that the object of our desire is perfect.
But once you do that, a couple of bad things happen.
You become afraid of talking to them.
Surely this heavenly being that is a gift from the gods wouldn’t want to talk to me? I’m just GARBAGE in comparison, unfit to breathe the same air, let alone utter mere words in their glorious presence.
You mistakenly assume they’re good people.
What if you walk up to them, start talking, and discover they like to run over puppies in their spare time? Would you still be attracted then? Probably not.
You project whatever crazy thing is in your head onto them.
When I was younger, if I saw a woman I found attractive, I’d start to imagine that she was a cool geek into scifi. 90% of the time they were not, and I was sorely disappointed.
Probably more bad things, but these are an easy quick 3.
When you catch yourself putting someone on a pedestal, stop it. I don’t care how you do it.
Imagine then taking a big sweaty dump, grunting and straining with a big scary vein on their forehead. Imagine they like to run over puppies. Imagine they think ET for Atari is the greatest videogame of all time (this one makes me REALLY ANGRY).
Whatever you need to do to bring them back down to human size.
Then walk up to them and make contact, WITHOUT EXPECTATIONS. You’ll soon find out if they’re worth talking to or not
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- Getting their Backstory – Getting to Know Someone Online - August 1, 2018
- Do Geeky Interests make you more Attractive? –Podcast 46 - April 23, 2018
- Why Nice Guys Suck (and how to be much less sucky) - March 29, 2018