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Part 2 – Attack of the Zones

Rami the Gutsy Geeks takes on more of Hollywood’s insidious love-based lies and this week, Zone of the Frienders (oh man, I need to go play Zone of the Enders now and I am VERY proud of that wordplay – Robin).

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Jason Biggs in Loser


Movie Lie #2: Friend Gets the Girl

Ah, the dreaded friend zone. The place from which geeks constantly try to escape, to land in a girl’s pants. Or worse still, the place geeks get into with the intention of getting in her pants.

It seems like every movie out there shows a random geeky dude, who’s friends with a hot babe. Eventually, they fall in love. This is destiny.

I see a lot of geeks imitating this in real life.

“Why not?” they think. “It’s only a matter of time before she falls in love with me. I do everything for her: I take her to dinner, I pay for all her things, I carry her groceries, I help her move, I give her my shoulder to cry on when she breaks up with someone… Of course she’s going to fall in love with me eventually, and realize I was the one all along.”


Right. And I’m going to find out the spider that bit me last week was radioactive, and now I can shoot webs out of my ass.

Here’s a scene from Zack and Miri Make a Porno where Zack lays it all on the table for her.

At least they got the ending right, where she tells him it didn’t mean anything.

Oh wait, no they didn’t. He comes back and they live happily ever after.

Movie examples: Zack and Miri make a porno, Just Friends, The Wedding Singer, He’s Just Not That Into You, That Crappy Movie With Jason Biggs, Every Teen Drama Ever EVER.

Is it true? NO!

In my early twenties, I made friends with a cute girl. We would go out for food, have drinks together, and go to parties together. When I made my intentions clear, she said “but we’re friends.”

After that, I stopped wanting to hang out with her, and she wondered why. The reason is simple: I was an asshole.

Kids, don’t try this at home. When you become a friend, it’s because she likes you as a friend. More importantly, it should be because you want to be her friend. Don’t hang out with her and help her out and be her shoulder to cry on if your ulterior motive is to stick your P in her V.

Similarly, if you’ve been friends for ages, and she hasn’t felt any attraction to you yet, it’s never gonna happen. Don’t believe it will, just because it happened to Jason Biggs or Seth Rogen or Ross from Friends. (BOOOO – We hate Ross Gellar, the entitled fuck treating Rachel like he deserves her, right from the start. Ross is not a good person. – Robin) Real life doesn’t work like that.

If you’re in the friend zone, chances are you’re stuck there. Be a good friend.

Try Instead: get over it, get out there, and meet someone else.

Rami the Gutsy Geek – Hating on Jason Biggs Movies since the 90s

Want some more?

Rami’s interview with a gamer girl.

Try being nice – people like it.

Coach Austin’s tips to lose belly fat.