They Lied to Us All
Until the age of 23, everything I knew about relationships, I learned at the cinema.
It was great! I learned about buying candy and roses, taking her out for food and a show, showering her with love and affection, and happily ever after.
My movie education worked out so well, that my virginity basically had time to grow back over the course of the three years since I lost it. This is because movies are fiction.
“What?!” you yell in sarcastic horror “Everything I see on the big screen doesn’t work in reality”
No my friend, it does not. Join me on a celluloid journey through the reality of dating in movies.
Movie Lie #1: The Big Finish Will Make Her Love You
Movies tell us that a huge surprise is totally the best way to to show your love for someone. A street performance of “I Will Always Love You” while her name painted on the surface of the river by paddle boat, or maybe you simply chase her in a cab to the train station before she leaves forever and tell her she’s the one.
It’ll solve all your problems and make her fall instantly head over heels in love with you.
Check out this example:
Movie Examples: Heart and Souls, Ten Thing I Hate About You, Love Actually, The Wedding Singer, Garden State
Is it true? NO!
At school, I remember having a crush on this cute girl. I didn’t know anything about her, except that I thought she was hot, and she gave me warm fuzzy feelings in my stomach when I spoke to her. So on Valentine’s day, I grabbed a long cardboard tube, stuffed a red rose in it, and took it to school. At lunch, I went up to her, smiled, and said “this is for you.”
She opened it, blushed, and… appeared extremely embarrassed and uncomfortable. She mumbled a thank you, then ran away as fast as possible. She then proceeded to ignore me for the rest of the school year.
The problem with this movie approach is that it gives men the wrong idea on how to attract someone. It tells you that it’s not about who you are, it’s about what you do.
Worse still, it tells you that you can completely fuck up any part of your relationship, but if you rent a race car and take her for a ride one day to a meadow for a picnic, problem solved.
The truth is, attracting a girl is much more complex, and solving your relationship issues begins with communication. You should probably cancel that dinner reservation, and maybe sit her down for a proper talk instead.
Try instead: if you’re trying to fix your relationship, multiple regular small gestures such as loving texts, date nights, small weekend getaway surprises, are way better than the one grand gesture because you fucked it all up. If you want her to want you, try dating her like a normal person; less of the crazy stuff.
We’ll return to these insidious Hollywood lies soon.
More Lies Movies Teach Geeks About Dating coming soon to a multiplex near you.
Want to start handling these lives, level up, and get the girl? You need the ultimate dating power up – Level Up Your Dating!
Rami the Gutsy Geek
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