Simple question: if you don’t like or love yourself, how can you expect someone else to love you?
I see this all the time. People will come up to me and say “I’m looking for someone to love” or “I’m looking for the perfect person to complete me”.
The problem is, these people often don’t have anything to offer besides their undying love. It’s like being an empty jar looking for someone else to fill you up. But no one wants an empty jar: they want jars with stuff already in them.
Geeks are Different
Luckily I find geeks have different problems: they have a lot to offer, they just don’t know how to present themselves, and they often suffer from a lack of self-love. They’re like jars of delicious Nutella with labels that say Poop.
It’s hard to develop self-love. It took me long years before I was able to accept who I was, and then even longer to learn to love myself. And I still have days where I feel like I’m unworthy.
And that’s okay.
Because I also learned to separate who I am and what I love about myself from that little voice in my head that tells me I’m whack. I call him Mr Asshole, and I kick him to the curb whenever I notice he’s around.
So today’s post is just an exercise. I don’t know if it will help you deal with YOUR Mr Asshole, but I think it’ll be a good start.
I want you to do two things;
First, make a list of the five coolest things about yourself. It could be your hobbies, it could be a cool characteristic about your personality, it could be anything. If you can’t think of five cool things about yourself, ask the people around you, they’ll usually have at least one or two.
Second, look through the lists that other people have made in the Facebook group and comment on things you like about them. Think of this as like a group hug exercise
Remember the geeky parts about yourself are often the coolest parts. The Muggles that aren’t geeks usually have no hobbies and spend their evenings watching reality TV.
Go check out my Level Up Your Dating course, which is closing for this cohort soon.
It will help you meet someone that’s good for you
Rami the Gutsy Geek – Relationships, Dating, Tekken
Rami wrote about the insidious lies Hollywood teaches us about love
His course is open to new registrants until the end of November 2017
And he’s running a dating webinar on Wednesday
- Getting their Backstory – Getting to Know Someone Online - August 1, 2018
- Do Geeky Interests make you more Attractive? –Podcast 46 - April 23, 2018
- Why Nice Guys Suck (and how to be much less sucky) - March 29, 2018