Grabbing the Bull by the Horn: Why Ladies Should Make The First Move

 

It was just another night bartending at the ol’ pool hall. Karaoke Sunday! Sadly, there weren’t many people present. Just the regulars that turn up for the fun. I didn’t mind how dead it was, as I do love my karaoke. Something about making a complete ass of myself on stage that makes my blood sing with life.

One of the usual crew had their birthday party going. They had a mountain of delicious blue icing cupcakes to mash into our faces. Much to the delight of our bellies, and dismay of our waistlines.

At about halfway through the night – after my rockin rendition of Don Mclean’s “American Pie” – a couple walk in and take up residence in a corner booth. The girl was pretty. She had a cherub face and the most adorable dimple when she smiled. There was a definite tingle within the feelings portion of my body. However, she was accompanied by another guy, so there was obviously nothing I could do.

With a shrug, I walked up, and introduced myself.

“So, are we supposed to sit here at the booth?” the gentleman asked.

“Well no,” I replied with a hint of sarcasm, “The booths are just a ruse. You see, what we do here is set people up to eat at the pool tables. I know its weird, but we felt it was a clever twist on traditional pool hall ways”.

After a few laughs, and looks of “Wait, is this guy serious?”, I took their drink orders and set them up to play some pool.

As the night progressed, I noticed something interesting. The girl from the back booth kept making eye contact and smiling at me (gentlemen – if you don’t know by now – this is a good sign a woman is interested in you). Also, this “couple” didn’t really seem to be acting… couply. I took a mental note of this and decided to test the waters while smiling back.

I was preparing their third round of drinks and popping their chicken bite order back to the kitchen when I hear this loveable pixi-like voice coming from behind me.

“Hi! It’s my birthday. I’m level 31!”

Perking my head up I think to myself, “That’s gamer geek talk”. Curiosity peaked, I turn around to see who it was that could possibly be so cool. It was her! She was standing there with one of those smiles that make you forget that there are hard hitting problems in this world.

“Is that so? Well happy birthday! Some may argue – at times – that I’m level 7, but I wouldn’t be able to be here serving you liquor if that was the case, now would I?”

With a giggle and a few extra attempts, she managed to wrangle my true age out of me. After a quick exchange of names, she proceeded to challenge me to find a better chicken wing restaurant than her favorite spot. I gladly accepted and told her of my favorite bar. Mistrustful of my taste in the tiny portions of chicken goodness, she offered up a deal of taking one another to each subsequent location. You know, “just to make sure”.

After I agreed, and with a skip in her step, she turned around and headed back to her table. Ponytail bopping up and down playfully as if to mimic my enthusiasm for what just happened.

“Did she just pick ME up? What a stud!” I thought to myself.

When it came time to do my rounds again, I went to the table with the cupcakes and told them of this girl who was also celebrating the exit of the womb. I offered an exchange to the birthday girl of that table. She could choose any song for me to sing next if I could steal one baked good for the beauty in the back. Of course, they approved my proposal – they loved picking my songs – and chose “Piece of shit car” by Adam Sandler.

Scooping a cake and plopping a single candle in the top, I brought it to the booth in the back. “No matter what level you are, everyone enjoys a cupcake. Happy birthday!” I said waiting for her to blow out the candle.

That was it. Hormone levels were sufficient enough to make it a successful match. The rest of the night was a bunch of back and forth between the two of us. She – visiting me for a chat at the bar – where I found out that the guy with her was just a good friend. Me – buying her a shot – which I grossly misread by bringing her a girly drink instead of something called a “liquid cocaine”. She – whooping and hollering with her hand held up like Judd Nelson at the end of “Breakfast Club” – while I completed my deal and sang “Piece of Shit car”.

At the end of the night, the two of us exchanged numbers and planned our first chicken wing date. A challenge that I had eventually lost in the end. Dammit Charlie’s – Get your act together!

Ladies – Don’t be afraid to take matters into your own hands!

lady first move dating adventure

It is now 2 years later, and we’re still together! All warm and squishy like the insides of a freshly toasted marshmallow. If she hadn’t came to me and wooed me like a complete boss, I would have continued believing that those two were together. We wouldn’t have combined families and wouldn’t be making house-buying types of future plans. The mere thought of how she handled that night makes my chest all pride puffy with just how badass she was.

This leads me into the first of my three reasons why you girls need to start making the dating first move.

You’ll Never Know Unless You Try

All around the world there are millions of people with crushes on other people whom have crushes on them. Like this weird boring carousel that goes around and around and getting nowhere. She lays awake at night wondering. He frustratingly talks to his buddies about her non-stop, while completely ignoring their pleas to do something about it.

cute girl boy dating

Yes girls, us guys tend to be cowardly. Most of the time we have no clue what we’re doing either.

Now, wouldn’t it be a better solution to just break the stereotype, ask him out for a coffee (or chicken wings)? See where things go. Who knows, maybe – one day – you guys will be laying in bed with each other thinking about just how amazing you guys are together. Instead of laying miles apart alone all full of wonder? Take that boring as fuck carousel and turn it into an exciting rollercoaster.

But what if he says no?!

So, he says no. At least you learn where exactly it is you’re at and feel less guilty about checking out the delivery guy’s butt on Wednesday mornings when he drops off those giant water bottles. Heck it even gives you opportunity to try asking him out. At least with a clearer conscience.

Speaking of getting the “no”, lets look at the next reason, shall we?

It Gets You Used to Rejection

mario princess another castle

I don’t know if you’ve read my last article: Sorry but Your Princess is in Another Castle. If you haven’t, please go there and have a look.

It covers this exact topic. To sum it up – The only way to get rid of the fear of rejection is to put yourself out there first. Rejection is like that boxed wine sitting on the back shelves of discount stores. It’s an acquired taste. The more you chug away at it, the easier to swallow it gets.

By getting over this fear you open yourself up to a multitude of opportunities of finding your true match – wherever he is –  instead of laying complacent and waiting for the prospect to come to you. Which may or may not ever happen without action on your behalf.

Lastly…

It Breaks the Shackles of Stereotype

The third – and final – reason is to not buy into the lie of “well it’s more traditional for the man to ask the woman out”.

It floored me when my girlfriend did what she did. But hey, it’s the modern era. Us guys apparently like that kind attention too. It certainly made me realize just how much it turned me on having someone come after me and make the dating first move. So, I’m sure you’ll be surprised at the positive response you get when you try it for yourself.

Women have become a self-sufficient group of beauty and kick-assery. Big, small, tall, short, blonde, or brunette – every girl type has a certain group of guys willing to chase behind with their drooley jaws open like puppy dogs waiting for attention. Once you realize this, your power is limitless.

So go on, get out there, make the dating first move, and get to grabbing those bulls by the horn. The horn being a euphemism for the… you know…. I’m sure you get it.

bull horn dating cute


Kurtis Kehoe – a bull who was grabbed by the horn


Break more stereotypes and win – bust these lies movies teach geeks about dating

Listen to our podcast episode on how a geek girl reverse-engineered our dating guide

How to Meet and Talk to Women in Bars: a Geek’s Guide

“I wish I had done that”… 30 lessons to my younger self, the dating edition

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