Quick one today – the headline there pretty much sums it all up beautifully. I was inspired to write this post based on a comment from one of the attendees at the confidence workshop I ran at the weekend; I know he won’t mind me quoting him here.
The session was on a particular technique from Neuro Linguistic Programming; Anchoring, essentially a conditioned response which enables you to easily move in to a productive state – we were doing confidence during this session (there’ll be some videos up soon explain and demoing the technique so you can do it for yourselves at home).
It was my very first workshop so I was naturally keen to get some solid feedback and find out what worked well, what could work better, and if anything was terrible and made them want to punch me in the throat – no-one said they wanted to punch me in the throat, or indeed at all, so I have that going for me, which is nice.
Anyway, yesterday this one person contacted me and said “I feel a bit bad about ticking two “good”s instead of “very good”s”… it was a fantastic session’.
I had to grin and thank him for his honesty in filling out the form – there’s no learning to be had in a clean sweep of ‘very good’ – it doesn’t tell me what could be better, it doesn’t tell me much at all. In fact I would have learned more if they did all want to punch me in the throat as a result and gave clear reasons why, though I am very pleased they did not want to do that.
The point here is that there is no shame in being less than perfect. Failing should always be an option, as long as you learn from it and don’t sulk about it and threaten to leave London forever (I only did that once ok?).
How many people learned to drive first time? What about learning an instrument? Sure many give up, but those that stick with it fuck it up time and time again until they nail that epic power chord, in the right time, at the right place, and make it sound like it was effortless.
So try something new, try something scary, but be kind to yourself. It’s no good beating yourself up, just learn something, try again, do it a little better.
I’m a gamer, I play an awful lot of videogames and back in the day we used to get 3 lives to finish the whole game. Man, you had to learn and quick or it was back to that ‘game over’ screen. Every new life, every restart, was a new chance to learn. Bit of a weird metaphor as we only get the one life – but you usually get plenty of chances, so take them, revel in defeat, giggle at your own ineptitude, come back with renewed focus, with new learnings, just don’t give up. If we all gave up we’d have never learned to walk, or talk, or use the toilet, or anything that we take for granted as adults.
So go on. Fail at something today and be better as a result.
I’ll do more about taking criticism and moving from the effect of reality to the cause of your own in future blog posts – if you have any feedback for me do leave it below in a comment, or hit me up on twitter @lifecoachlond
Have an amazing Monday. Go on. Go and fail at a thing.
Last minute addition – I just had a terrible hunter’s chicken (this was written late on Sunday). No harm done, but I’ve learned that I won’t be having that one again!
And if you ever want to feel better about yourself you can always watch an Epic Fail video…